In the midst of all the Ebola talk, the release of the CIA “torture” report, new sanctions against Russia, and a threat to impeach the current president, the United States seems like a pretty bleak place to be living. I, for one, have decided to look for all the great things surrounding me in the land of the free. So, I would like to take a moment to talk about all the amazing things about being an American right now.
25 cent Chicken McNuggets: This one speaks for itself. The 25 cent chicken McNugget promotion is back at McDonald’s. No, they’re not paying me to name-drop here, I’m genuinely excited about this. I’m on a college-student budget, and enjoy being able to reach into my pocket of change knowing I can afford 20 McNuggets if I please. And yes– I do usually have that much change on me.
Kim Kardashian’s Claim-to-Fame Revealed: For years people have wondered “why is Kim Kardashian famous?” I am not unlike these people. She has not done much to merit fame- until the Summer of 2014. Kim Kardashian now has a free game, available on Android and iOS. I know, from experience, that this game is the end to most Candy Crush addictions. I’ve stayed up until 2 AM playing this game, and I am up to 17 million fans (I’ll be signing autographs after this post). I now believe Kim K has a reason to be famous- developing a life-consuming game for people with too much time on their hands. Let’s close that case, folks.
“Big Brother” is back on CBS: If you have any extra time while waiting for your energy to be full in the Kim Kardashian game, you should be aware that “Big Brother” is back on CBS. This season started off just as dramatic as ever, with people quickly turning on their own alliance members. Now, the house might be flipping, and I can’t stop checking Twitter for live feeds and leaks. I also spend 4 of 7 nights of my week wishing it was Sunday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Nothing says “America” quite like watching people be locked in a house for the entire summer hoping to win $500,000. #TeamAmerica #TeamCobyBB16
I don’t live in New York, so I still get large sodas: Once again, this one speaks for itself. Large sodas are my happiness. Polar Pops from Circle K might be the greatest gift of all. If I can put my sugary, empty calories in a Styrofoam cup with gas station ice, I know I’m going to have a good day. Shout out to Illinois for not banning a cup full of happiness.
Barack Obama is “Fancy:” I’ll just go ahead and make your day by linking the video here.
So, if you find yourself feeling a little down, like the economy, just remember that you live in a glorious land of 25 cent McNuggets and lip-dubs of the ruler of the free world.